One Step at a Time

a book in review

2006-02-27T22:13:00.000-08:00

Every woman-whether she admits it or not-wants to be seen as beautiful. Not only do we wish to be percieved as beautiful, but we need constant affirmation of this. Mainly due to the fact that fundamentally all women are at the core afraid of ending up alone. Lately I've been delving into the book Captivating. Now at first I saw the cover, read a little and wanted to dismiss it as another stupid feminist-praying-on-emotionally-broken-overzealous-christian-women novel...but I'm actually finding some usefulness to it! There's just a whole lot of stories jam packed in there, and they are always drawn back to the original woman EVE!
So far I'm only on chapter 3, but here are my main highlighted facts/ideas.
When God created woman, He created her to show another aspect of himself that was not represented in man. Within woman He shows His desire to be pursued by us, the worshipers, to be loved and wanted. Can you imagine that the God of the entire universe wants to be pursued by us? He wants us to be our #1, Him and only Him. Yeah, sounds a lot like a woman eh? And now as I'm thinking about it, that's why people always say that God is neither a man nor a woman (well it says that in the Bible I believe). He is both at once, he possess all qualities. What a perfect being! A woman is incomplete on her own. A man is incomplete on his own. When we unite in marriage that is a joining of two ways of thinking, two different ways of living. When it is done right, marriage is like thinking with a whole brain instead of half. (Those last few sentences were just my thoughts.)

If anyone wants updates about the rest of the book, holla back!

No ripple, no stir. Lord let me be that pool

2006-01-28T14:24:00.000-08:00

Listen to this:

"August 17, 1948-Silence begins to drag on my soul. It is a kind of waiting which hears no voice, no footstep, sees no sign. I think that I could wait ten years, if it were not this waiting, this silence. I have spent the evening by a little pool which held that silent sky in its heart. There was no ripple, no stir. Lord let me be that pool."

This came from thed the book Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot. (She is the one whose husband was a missionary and he was killed etc. -Jim Elliot.)

I love the way that she writes in this book very candid and honest-straight to the point! That's my kind of writer!

Now if you know me well enough, you know I'm not the "sappy" cheesy kinda person, but I'm going to be so anyways. I want to be that pool! Patiently waiting with stirring. Knowing and trusting God and God alone. Not myself or my powers, bu by His.

Hmm China

2006-01-16T06:37:00.000-08:00

So I bet you're all just dying to know how my trip was. Okay maybe not but I'll tell you anyways. So grab a cup of coffee (or prune juice if you're Jimmy) and enjoy the random ramblings of Jenny.

The whole trip of almost 3 weeks included A LOT of travel within the country. We two long train rides (one was 20 hours) and some buses, even a plane or two! On the second day we (Julie, Courtney and 2 other teachers from the university) went to Sias University where Julie teaches English. Honestly I had no idea what to expect. It was actually pretty nifty. Most of the teachers were gone since it was vacation but it was nice to just chill and walk around the campus for a few days. It even snowed!! Of course I had to seize the opportunity and chuck a few snowballs at my sis.

Many hours of traveling later we came to this awesome place called Yang Shuo. The views are breathtaking! (Literally when you have to climb a bazillion steps you can't breathe very well.) We stayed there about 5 days...and man was it worth it. Even in this town you can see huge rock mountains. We also took a boat ride down the Li River where it is even more gorgeous. Here's a picture of one of the many beautiful sights on the river.

I was also a little bit worried about food since I don't particularly like rice, vegetables and soup. But but but...I have learned to like rice (I crave it constantly now! weird), and guess what folks.....I ate some vegetables!!! Yeah really. We had these fried green beans that were spicy...so good! Well I avoided a lot of veggies, but I'm getting better. Oh, and I still don't like soup though. One step at a time.

Guess what this is:
WRONG!! It's not chicken.

This is a little dessert called candied apple. Basically the apple is cooked in this dough like shell brought out hot and then you eat it! Well first you have to dip it in cool water to solidify it more. Yum yum!!

We did run into a little bit of trouble with Courtney's passport...being that it was stolen. But it all worked out after she and my sister had to travel for two days. But thank you God that it all was worked out before we had to leave the country!!

Overall I found China to be my worst nightmare. Germs galore, lots of big cities, and guys spitting everywhere (even some girls!). It's just not my type of place. But it was a good experience to see how other people live and to put my life back into perspective. It's funny how easily we lose sight of that.

China really needs God. It seems like everyone is a swindler. People who are genuine are hard to find. We did find 2 great people that owned a cafe...very awesome people. I wish I could go back just to see them. As one person said "light shines most in the darkness". This is the kind of people we need to be in the world. We should stand out from others. *sigh* I've got a long way to go. One step at a time...

So you should know..

2005-12-25T22:46:00.000-08:00

That I am leaving for China on Dec 27th, also know as this coming TUESDAY! Ay yi yi. I will be visiting my sister. Poor girl, she said I wouldn't even feel like Christmas until I got there. I'm glad to be able to visit her and bring a little bit of home with me.
At any rate I will try to blog from there on ocassion, but I have a feeling that this site will be restricted. (Everything internet or phone etc. is filtered.)

So if I don't talk to you guys beforehand I hope your New Year's is lovely and fun filled. I'll be back on January 14th. If I'm awake I may even come to church Sat night...doubtful though.

Pray for safe travel for Courtney, myself, Julie and the other 2-3 people traveling with us while in China.

Thank you!

Impatience is horrible! Don't try it at home kids.

2005-12-24T00:02:00.000-08:00

So if you know me well enough, you know that I am an impatient person. Sure when I'm in a crowd of people I seem as nice and patient, but when it's "real time" I just hate to wait.

When I was younger, when my mum, sis and I were driving to school, I remember hearing my mom say really weird things. Whenever something bad was going on she'd sound really angry and frustrated and then let out this big snarly sigh saying "THANK YOU GOD FOR ....(fill in the blank) ...making us late to school!" Yeah that was a bit confusing.

About a year or less ago every now and then I would let out a silent thank you to God everytime something bad would happen. I figured it happened for a reason, like the fact that I was stuck in traffic was saving me from getting in a car accident. *shrug*

As I'm getting older (sorta...still 20) I am discovering some fun new stuff, and I'm seeing that impatience really isn't good. Don't you love how God keeps on bringing up your faults and making you work on them??

Without telling ya'll too much for no apparent reason, I basically need to learn to just sit back and trust God. AY! It's so hard though! I don't want to just waste away. God knows my thoughts, He knows my desires and He wants to give them to me. But why can't I have them now God?? What is it that is hindering me? How come other people can have relationships even when they obviously weren't ready? Is it because their desires are different?

I don't understand the way God works, and thankfully I don't have to. But God, if you're listening (which He always is), you know my desires, I pray that You would help me to be patient until the day when they are fufilled. I also pray that you would help the time pass not too fast, not too slow but just right. Please prepare me every moment for the end result. Change my heart O God, change my desires if I need to! Thank you for having my best interests at heart even though I question Your ways. I know that You really love me because just like a parent, you can't always give kids what they want when they want it. They know when the appropriate time is. Teach me how to be patient. I want patient patience to be the core of my being. I want You to be the center.

Ch-ch-ch-Changes

2005-12-14T15:42:00.000-08:00

Change seems to be the word on everyone's mind lately, as well as my own. I was just thinking the other day about how weird it is to have to gone to Hope Chapel for over 8 years and to have seen many different people become leaders. Not only that but at college group-many many changes. When I went to college group right out of High School there was a certain group of people who went every week. After a year and a half the group took a turn and acquired an almost entirely new cast! I mean the only originals are me Natalie and Jeremy. It's just so weird to usher in new people, especially when they're younger than me-everyone else had been 3-5 years older than me in the first group. I suppose change is inevitable. Change is good. Screw it, it's just weird!!
Then I started thinking about how weird it must be for pastors, i.e. Dan. He's grown close to some leaders, then they're left, new leaders have come, they've left, and now here we are.
Hope Chapel, to me, IS the people. So it's weird to think of new people taking it over. Hope Chapel will not be the same if a new pastor came to take over. It wouldn't be the same if Mike left. It wouldn't be the same if the a new congregation came!

Fortunately there's one thing that'll never change. GOD and His Word. This is such an amazing concept that I can barely even wrap my head around it. In so many other religions they've altered what they say, changed their "Bible" etc. Did you know that in the Book of Mormon there have been over 4,000 changes???! I'm so grateful to have a God far better than I am who will never change! Ay yi yi.

wouldn't you know it!

2005-11-28T21:01:00.000-08:00

So this past week I starting thinking about an awesome idea to do when leading worship at my college group (which I think I'm almost in charge of, or am now...who knows). I got all excited and started writing down some ideas. Then a day or two later I went to church and for some reason I just felt like I had no energy and I felt like I wasn't really worshiping God. It just felt bland. Wouldn't you know it!! I can only attribute this to one of two things, my lack of being prepared and fully focusing on God or the Devil trying to get at me! Ay yi yi. But none the less I'm going to push forward. I'll let you guys know how it turns out once I start my new regime. Muwhaha! This kids don't know what they're getting into!! I'm going to break down every barrier of our typical every week collgege ho-hum group until they won't want to do anything but share God's love. Hmm...I think I'm going to need some help, especially since I'm one of them! ;)

K, this picture's kinda interesting. Just thought I'd add it so any other impatient "I-only-read-books-with-pictures" kind of people like me will be happy.

yay horray

2005-11-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

I'm going to get my tattoo sometime within the next week or two!! So happy. Kristie/Gina know this chick who shall do my tattoo hopefully. So you wanna know what I'm gonna get done? Not gonna tell ya! You'll just have to see it. I will tell you that it will be on my left ankle.

YAY!

A tribute to Anna

2005-11-15T20:57:00.000-08:00

The lovely Miss Anna Blake, also known as our guide while in Cambodia, came to the area this past weekend and it was rockin! She preached an awesome message, and then a few of us youngens went out and played. (She's 24=still a youngen)
So on Sunday, the night before she went back to Cambodia, we went to San Francisco since she'd never been! The funniest part is that the best part for at least Kristie and I was being stuck in traffic!! On the way there we listened to girl music, headbanged to Kelly Clarkson, put up signs on the window saying "Honk if you like Anna" and yelled in tunnels "JESUS!". It was a riot. It's amazing how well she fits in with the rest of us nut jobs.
This is a tribute to the awesomeness that is Anna, and for having fun doing nothing.

Here's a beautiful picture on Anna (right) and Natalie (Left). Aren't they sweet? or something...

Nerdify '05

2005-10-30T22:27:00.000-08:00

Yup that's right...a NERD PARTY! My youth group has this awesome party every year, and this year was no exception! We have stuff like calculator wars, best dressed prizes, and a tater tot eating contest. I've included some fun pictures below. Unfortunately I didn't take any of myself, but someone else got some. I'll have to check them out laters!

Jeremy, aka mad scientist, is posing in front of the Nerification Station. The Nerd station is where those who didn't get awesome clothes have a last minute solution.

HA! That is Mary. Scary eh?? She put on the black makeup and I was so scared because she actually looked like a man. A lot of people said that part of her face looked just like her brother Jimmy-our worship pastor. I hope they weren't talking about the teeth!! The funny part is that she was actually trying to be mike. Hmm..pretty godo likeness I think. ;)

And of course the tot eating contest! Dude, I so totally would have participated if I weren't a leader.

The best part of the night was the Nerd Talent Contest. Mary and I decided to do a talent even though we couldn't win. Before we went on stage Mary took a sip of water and we told the kids to gather around really close. Then I took her arm in a pumping motion and she squirted out water from her mouth onto the unsuspecting audience. IT WAS GREAT! They are so gullible. I think that's why I like our youth group. :)

I love the 80s

2005-10-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

So next Friday (Nov 4) @ 7pm college group will be hosting our 3rd annual 2nd hand prom! Dude it's gonna be awesome because the theme is the 80s. At any rate I've been watching VH1s I love the 80s, funny stuff. Check out some of the awesome pics.

Old school Janet Jackson--notice her chest is fully covered.

J-LO?!?! Wow, that's just weird.

All that and more at: VH1

Arrow---TARGET!

2005-10-22T00:17:00.000-07:00

Dang, don't you just hate when you've been talking/thinking about a particular subject and then God slaps you upside the head with the same thing? To further explain this last complicate sentence, I'll fill you in.

I was talking to Mary the other night-one of those 11:30pm lets sound philosphical kind of talks-about worship. I was saying that leading worship at college group is just awkward and since I am leading musical worship now (guitar/singing) I just feel like I'm not really worshiping. All I'm doing is playing and being nervous. I can think of 10 billion things that don't go right and then I just get frustrated with the whole thing.

Then a few minutes ago I just read Jimmy's blog and he posted about worship. He was basically saying that when he leads musical worship that there are times when he isn't putting his entire being into it and those are the times when people have approached him saying that they were really touched by the song(s). Ironic eh?

But the best part was reading the comments people wrote! It was like they all slapped me upside the head and I'm a little dizzy at the moment. :)

The first excerpt from a comment is:
"From my own time in ministry I do believe that God successfully uses people that are willing to be used...regardless of their drive, talent or ability."

That's one thing I've been struggling with. I don't have a whole lot of natural whatever it is that you need to have rhythm. I mean I sound okay, but not nearly as good as a could/should be. Someone once told me that we don't all have to sound as good as Jimmy, 'cause God can still use ya. ;)

The Second excerpt:
"He works when we are obedient to His call on our lives."

Ay yi yi! As it is said 'showing up is half the battle'. The hard part is knowing what His call is, obedience comes naturally to something we truly love.

"I''ve been there a lot, when i just feel blah, and someone will come up to me in tears ... about the music i played. when i thought it sucked, or could have been better - and then that person reminds me that it was never about me in the first place. Their tears and emotions become so much of the worship I expierence - i don't know if that makes sense. it's as though i experience worship through others - at times."

GOOD POINT! Worship is not just musical. Hmm so then you don't have to sound perfect but you just have to set the mood for other people (and maybe yourself) to connect to God. I wonder what a church service would be like without worship. I'd really like to try it sometime and then ask people afterwards how they felt about the service. A lot of people from Hope have exclaimed that the best part about the service was the worship. "Musical Worship" is good, but there's more to it than that!

Has anyone else had problems truly worshiping 'cause something's holding you back?

2005-10-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! So last night I was reading this book of poems (assigned for English class) by a woman called Wastawa Szymborska (SPELLING?!). She grew up in Poland during WWII. At any rate I felt like writing a poem...sorry if it's corny, but this is me. :)

“Does God Have Children?”

The smiling faces of children
They often spread joy.
They aim to please,
And try to help.

We are here to work,
To build and to paint.
But our purpose is more,
It is to spread love.

A child takes a brush,
And quietly strokes away.
Spots of paint fall to the floor,
What is one to do?

We could easily take over,
With half the mess.
But is it worth it so see his face?
To see his smile of accomplishment.

His face lights up,
As if you have handed a dying patient the cure to his disease.
The joy is pure, unadulterated, appreciated,
Which is what joy is.

Is this how God is with us?
Does He hand us a brush and let us paint?
He could easily take over,
With half the mess.

But is it worth it to see our face?
To see our smiles of accomplishment?
Maybe we were all children making a mess,
With joy on our faces and paint on the floor.

Arg, problems in life

2005-10-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

Okay so tonight at college home group we were having a whole discussion circled around two main questions "If you had two minutes to share with someone why God is real what would you say?" and "What evidence of God is in your life?". Honestly I always have problems with these types of questions because I don't know what to say. It's just so hard to get out of that safe bubble where "God exists-duh!". And for those of you who know me, I'm not very articulate. :) Most of the time I just do what I do 'cause I think it's right, I don't sit around and analyze why I think God is real, or how He is evident in my life-I'd rather just live it! But then again maybe some analzying wouldn't hurt, because how else do you express what God has done in your life? So I'm frustrated because I don't have those answers and I get back to that same issue I have been dealing with all my life and I'm sure everyone deals with: inadequacy, or the fear thereof.

For now I shall signoff as a frustrated follower,

Jenners

Concierto!

2005-10-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

Yeah so the concert was pretty nifty. As long as you ignore the people smoking pot, drinking beer and all the cussing-wonderful! Unfortunately I won't be posting any pictures 'cause the mean people wouldn't let anyone bring cameras in. They're pretty strict there! You can't bring any posters, cameras and they even told a chick to take the wallet chain and either throw it out or chuck it in the bushes and get it later. Ya. This was the same place that Darla, Jessica and I saw N Sync years ago. Good times. Jessica was wearing this big ol coat on, so she was able to smuggle our poster in. We held it up and during this one song they were soaring across the ceiling and one of them actually pointed at the poster! haha. Totally over that tho.

Yup yup. Things like this just help me realize the kind of person I don't want to be. All of those people who go around smoking, getting drunk and acting like pathetic losers. Yeah, that's a no thank you. But hey, that's just me!

Friday!

2005-09-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will be going to a Green Day concert!! YA baby! For those who don't know them see the enclosed picture. (maybe not their best shot..ohwell)

At any rate, the best part of the show is that Jimmy Eat World is opening! I think I like them better than Green Day. Lovely eh?

And hey, I might even visit the college I want to transfer to while I'm in town! FUN IN THE SUN!

See ya guys later. (I'll post about how it went.)

Just because

2005-09-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

So here's some fun random things that make me laugh.

When...

people hurt themselves (but not seriously)
my cat spazes out
when I watch a romantic comedy where the boy does something cute
Kristie says just about anything
people do stupid things when driving (or it just pisses me off...it's 50/50)
I hit someone with a pillow
Mary acts like a dork (which is often)
really corny jokes my Dad tells...EXAMPLE:

"Every night when this little girl goes to bed she kneels beside her bed and prays. Her Father happened to be walking past her room and listened as she prayed '...and God bless Grandpa,' she said. The Father walked away thinking how sweet she was to think of Grandpa. Then the next morning he received a call saying Grandpa had died! The thought came to his mind that it was odd she had jsut prayed for him, but he quickly dismissed that idea. Then next time he waited outside her room and listened as she prayed, '...and God bless Grandma' The next day the Grandma had died! Now the Father was getting worried. This night he waited anxiously outside her room and then he heard '...and God bless Daddy!' This sent him into a panic. He couldn't sleep all night. Then in the morning he looked around and realized that he wasn't dead. He felt stupid that he had even considered the idea. So he went about his normal day and went to the front door to pick up his newspaper. When he opened the door he found the milkman dead on the porch." HAHAHA! Get it??? Yeah...that's myd dad's sense of humor.

random pics

2005-09-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

So here are some fun pics I thought I would share with you lovely people!

This is me squishing Mary's head! haha

This is Mary cutting the "hair" on this totally awesome pen I have. We though a mullet would look good.

And here's me taking a pic with Mary's glasses when she wasn't lookin! Haha Sucka!

Tattoo idea

2005-09-07T22:21:00.000-07:00

So I had this idea for a tatoo that would go on the inner part of my arm (lower half). It would have three kanji symbols that look like this.

Their meanings: Faith, Hope & Love. (and the greatest of these is love)

What do you guys think about it?

Oh yeah, 20 big ones!

2005-08-30T00:02:00.000-07:00

As of now I am 20 years old. Aka I am no longer a teenager. Who would have guessed that I'd live this long? Certainly not my parents! Nor I. So here's a tribute to my growing up. Enjoy immensely!

This is me now that I'm old.

Cambodia..

2005-08-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

I wrote this letter about Cambodia after talking to Lisa (a fellow 19 year old who went on the trip). We were talking about how we've forgotten what has happened in Cambodia already and fallen back into temptations.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? You have forgotten what you have learned so easily. You are like a man who looks at his face in the mirror, walks away and then forgets what he looks like. Don’t give up so easily! We have been shown things that are beautiful, a painted landscape of how our lives should be, or of how it could be. Sit, think, pray and realize our lives need to work toward this painting. Our selfish ways should be gone, see how the people there live! They have nothing and yet they rejoice. They are struck down, yet they rejoice. They praise the Lord in the meager conditions. They use their voices, hands and feet because that’s all they need. We have so easily forgotten the simplicity of just coming before Jesus and praising Him. How dare we be so selfish as to ignore Him, and make worship gaudy! He desires what is best for us, and teaches us lessons like our own Father would. When our earthly fathers teach us how to ride a bike, we practice and practice, and we’re even excited to try again, though a little afraid. But nonetheless we continue to try, and at last we succeed because we never gave up. Our lives with Christ should be the same! Approach each day with energy, vigor, intensity even if we are sometimes afraid-it doesn’t matter! Let us come before him in humbleness and ask Him to show us new lessons, so that we may in turn bless others.

Thank you God for these lessons you have shown us, and that we've been able to share these with others. Please help us to remember daily to include you, and to come before you broken but ready to be put back together. Please bless the children over there for their love for You and everyone around-even total strangers. Raise them up to be Christian leaders that will change their country.

Dating, the all too sensitive subject

2005-08-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm reading this book called "How to Get a Date Worth Keeping" by Dr. Henry Cloud (he co-wrote the Boundaries books etc.), and in the Christian world it's a bit controversial. That fact right there just makes it 10 times more interesting. So the typical view on dating/courtship is that you need to have some sort of divine revelation from God that you should date someone, otherwise you should just sit back and wait for God to bring along that special someone. But Cloud does a TOTAL 180 on this. At the beginning of the book he gives an example about a girl who is approaching 30 and is bummed about her lack of men. He was out at dinner with her and others, when he decided to ask her why she didn't go on dates. To make a long story short she said that she was waiting for God to bring that guy along, and she had enough faith in God to just wait for him. Oh mannn he opened up a big ol' can of "HELLO!!" Basically, you can't just expect God to do all the work, it's good you have faith, but put some action to it! I was just astonished: first of all at his rudeness, and then at the fact that he's right. God wants us to take steps of faith, meaning we gotta go out there and do some work too, and expect God to meet us there. The only question I have, is should this "steps of faith" thing be applied to dating? I mean you still need to use common sense and not just go out with the first guy that winks at you.
The other controversial thing about the book is that he believes dating should be something fun, where you can get to know lots of different kinds of people, experience more of life. It doesn't have to be this big serious "I can only date the person I want to marry".
I was talking to this to someone and they said that it's great if you can meet the guy you want to marry and never date anyone else, that way you don't have to go through all of the dating crap, and all the emotional baggage that comes with it.

Arg, I just don't know what I think. Any opinions peoples?

P.S. I haven't finished reading the book yet, so I'll let you know how it turns out.

Home run!

2005-08-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

So lately I've really been slacking on doing devotions/reading my Bible. Okay, honestly I'm always slacking on that. But I read out of "My Utmost For His Highest" (Definitely recommend it for a quick devotional that's awesome!) and I was totally convicted by this one.
Isn't it great how God just gently reminds you that "Hey you need to work on this, so I'll provide many things to make it soo obvious that you have to recognize this!" I guess I'm just a bit slow.

"Many of us appear to be all right in general, but there are still some areas in which we are careless and lazy; it is not a matter of sin, but the remnants of our carnal life that tend to make us careless. Carelessness is an insult to the Holy Spirit. We should have no carelessness about us either in the way we worship God, or even in the way we eat & drink.
Not only must our relationship to God be right, but the outward expression of that relationship must also be right. Ultimately, God will allow nothing eo escape; every detail of our lives is under His scrutiny. God will bring us back in countless ways to the same point over and over again. And He never tires of bringing us back to that one point until we learn the lesson, because His purpose is to produce the finished product. It may be a problem arising from our impulsive nature, but again and again, with the most persistent patience, God has brought us back to that one particular point. Or the problem may be our idle and wandering thinking, or out independent nature and self-interest. Throught this process, God is trying to impress upon us the one thing that is not entirely righy in our lives."

I have definitely found this to be true...If you struggle with something, and it is left unresolved God will bring you into that same situation time and time again until you finally give it up! Ay yi yi. Why are we soo stupid? We can't learn a simple leson the first time. We know what the right thing to do is and yet we just go the other way because we're stupid and selfish. I pray that you would be encouraged b the above quote from this book to keep on working out your problems. If you're repeatedly in the same compromising situations get out of them! Escape any way you can until you're strong enough to resist the temptation. Tell someone what's going on and have them keep your accountable. Do what you have to do, and do it now!
Anyone have any other suggestions?

passion!

2005-07-27T23:11:00.000-07:00

Living life with passion! That's what it's all about. I don't know about you, but soooo many times I get caught up in my own little world; I begin to think and analyze and I sort of forget to live my life with passion. Where has that passion we had as children gone?? Why are we so scared to actually care about something??
When it comes to worshipping God we're supposed to give Him EVERY-THING (that's means ALL ;). So join me in learning to unleash this passion and forgetting what people think or just simply worrying. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" -Matthew 6:27

DON'T HOLD BACK!

What age are you?

2005-07-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

You Are 25 Years Old

25

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Check out the test, and let me know what you come out as.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/outcome.php

Questions in life

2005-07-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

I feel like there's something missing from my life, but God should fill the hole right? But how come our lives don't always feel complete even after we've become Christians? Is it because we're holding back, going our own way or what?

"Every point of view has another angle
And every angle has its merit
But all comes down to faith
Thats the way i see it

You can say that love is not divine and
You can say that life is not eternal
'all we have is know'
But i don't believe it

There's a god-shaped hole in all of us

And the restless soul is searching
There's a god-shaped hole in all of us
And it's a void only he can fill

Does the world seem gray with empty longing
Wearing every shade of cynical
And do you ever feel that
There is something missing?

That's my point of view..." -Plumb

In this song it says "and the restless soul is searching". How come Christians still have to search? I want God to fully complete my life, but I still feel like there's something missing.

Also here's another thought. When I do things like help in ministry, I feel like I'm doing it for people not for God. Is this wrong, or am I just not getting the whole picture. We should love people and help our fellow brothers and sisters, but should the sole reason be for God, and helping fellow brothers and sisters just be a side note?

Tell me whatcha think.

more pictures

2005-07-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

If you want to see more pictures check this out: http://www.missionreports.com/hope_chapel2005/

Cambodia-a review

2005-07-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

Where do I start? Well it was awesome. This was my first mission's trip, and I must say that it was good place to start. It's definitely a test of my physical, mental and spiritual strength. (If you don't know, a team of 20 people from my church went to an orphange to build a cafeteria/kitchen.) It wasn't always perfect. Haha, speaking of which, our first "guest house" is a prime example. Apparently there are some guest houses in our area that umm "rent by the hour" if you know what I mean. We stayed in a place like that for the first 3 days. There's one word that summarizes this place "unsanitary". But hey, it wouldn't have felt like a real mission's trip without something like a squat pot. I'll just leave it at that and show you a picture of our bathroom.

The pee hole/squat pot is in the middle, to the right it the buday (no clue how to spell, basically you use the mini-shower head instead of toilet paper). And then there's a bucket for your showering needs, and you use it to flush your "toilet".

Oh, and they sell gas by the coke bottle.

Everyday we went to work we took one of two trucks. Let me tell you, that was a ride! Anna drives so fast, but at least she can handle the bumpy dirt roads.

Jeremy drove the white truck; that was an interesting experience! I held on the edge pretty tightly. :)

...and sometimes the trucks wouldn't start.

Suprisingly working wasn't too bad. It was
really hot out, but it felt good. Half of the time
I helped work outside (which consisted of
mixing cement, laying brick etc), and the
other half was spend endlessly painting.
Oh, and I found something out: don't mix cement without work boots on. *shrug* ohwell. I had a swollen ankle for a few days.

Inbetween working we would do stuff for the kids like crafts etc. Here's a pic of the lovely Lisa modeling my deformed looking dog balloon animal.

The kids there were awesome! They seemed like normal kids, just a lot more grateful for what they had. If only American kids could learn from them. Ay yi yi.

The younger kids were fun, but the older kids I could connect with more. Mainly because
hey could speak some English. This girl's name is Mary. She taught me one of her dance moves, and I taught her to swing dance. Ya baby!

We may have worked hard, but we also play hard!

Here's a few pics of our hiking trip. While
we were at Siem Reap we had a choice of
going on a little hiking trip or going out on our own. I was part of the group that went hiking. (This is big for me, 'cause those of you who know me, know I hate hiking for the most part.) We hiked for about a half hour, and then played at a waterfall. I forgot to wear tennis shoes and was wearing flip flops. Hikinh in wet flip flops isn't exactyl safe, so a couple people hiked back without shoes. (It was actually pretty comfortable! I loved it.)

The pic on the right is at Angkor Wat. (Angkor What?) As some of you may know, a few of us walked around barefoot. It was the best part of that place! It rained a little while we were there, and the puddles on the ground were warm. (I know what you're thinking...but no.)

Here's picture of our project. We completed a
good portion of it, but we knew we couldn't
finish it. At least we were able to raise enough
money for them to finish the project themselves.
Might I say that the brick laying and foundation
look lovely!

Hong Kong was nifty too! We ended up spending a little under 3 days there. It was a cool experience, but I liked Cambodia much more. Big cities just aren't for me. All Hong Kong is, is a giant shopping mall. (But I do like to shop....What can I say, I'm still female.)

This is captain Jenny, signing out.

Cambodia

2005-06-21T18:04:00.000-07:00

Guess what...I'm going to Cambodia!! I leave Friday and I'll be gone until the 12th. So as you may have guessed I won't be blogging! If we go to some sort of internet cafe I might tho, but you never know. Please pray for us while we're gone. (i.e. health, safe travel, unity, and that we would get everything done in time.)

Good morning...and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon good evening and good night!

Falling in love....with God

2005-06-17T11:21:00.000-07:00

If you've gone to church for as long as I have, you've constantly been BOMBARDED with this phrase. I know I just tend to ignore it. Every week, as part of my secreterial duties, I make a powerpoint slideshow that runs before church. Every other slide there is a black screen and in the middle is a quote; this quote is usually from The Purpose Drive Life. Today I am reading this part that speaks about falling in love with God. "When I first fell in love with my wife, I thought of her constantly: while eating breakfast, dricing to school, attending class, waiting in line at the market, pumping gas-I could not stop thinking about this woman! I often talked to myself about her and thought about all the things I loved about her. This helped me feel clsoe to Kay even though we lived several hundred miles apart and attended different colleges. By constantly thinking of her, I was abiding in her love. This is what real worship is all about-falling in live with Jesus." (If you want to read more it's on page 67.)
Last night at U-turn, we took communion and the kids had a chance to pray with leaders. One girl came up to me and asked me to pray that she would have a closer relationship with God. While I was praying I was thinking about how sad it is that we have to ask God to remind us to spend time with Him!! We are truly pathetic. When all along we should be "in love with God". When you're in love with someone, or even if you like the person you NATURALLY think about them constantly. I think that's what bugs me, that it doesn't come natural to want to or remember to spend time with God. We need Him, but we ignore Him. We cry out to Him, but disagree with His response.
Why?

Picture Time!

2005-06-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, so today I felt like taking pictures. You lucky people get to see them! Tell me whatcha think.

The first is a pic of me and my friend GIR (from Invader Zim). He rocks my world.

OOO looky I gots a new hat! I actually got it for "touristy days" in Cambodia/Hong Kong. *Shh! don't tell anyone I've already worn it*

There were a couple of pretty flowers outside, so I tooked a pic of them. Aren't they so cute together?

I figured my cat (Tiger), might need her nose picked. Afterall, she has no real fingers. ;)

Oh, and last but certainly not least is just for Mary. (Jimmy, if you see this you can show it to Mary!) I bought this frickin awesome headlamp for Cambodia, and apparently it has a red light on it. I call this picture "rudoplh the red-nosed Mary".

Taking the focus off ourselves

2005-06-13T00:04:00.000-07:00

So I don't know about you, but I have a hard time really concentrating on God etc. during worship/church time. My mind wanders far too easily! I love to play guitar and worship while I'm at home because I don't have to worry about how I sound, or how indrecibly off I am. But when I sing when others are around I constantly find myself rather self-conscious. I really do mean what I sing. Although, I admit that sometimes I do just sing the words and forget to think about them (bad habit). Then there are times when I am "spiritually dry" (I hate using Christian-ese, but I am a horrible thesaurus), and when that happens I feel like I have to force myself to sing. Does God really get anything out of it when we sing because we think we should? I want to have an incredible passion for God that will naturally eminate from my being no matter what emotional state I'm in. Of course this is utopian, but I guess I still need to strive for it, not matter how unattainable it may seem.
When I was writing this blog, I thought about that one scripture about a "time is coming and has no come.." etc, so I looked it up. I never even realized that it was part of the story about the Samaritan woman at the well! Here it is in NIV "3Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. ²⁴God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."
From what I gather, Jesus was trying to tell her that it didn't matter where one worshiped (a dispute between Jews & Samaritians), and these silly details like what you're called (Samaritan or Jew etc) will not matter. All that matters is that you are TRULY worshiping God. In Gina's Blog, she has a post that talks about what she longs for mainly in church and worship. She longs to be truly expressive without judgment from others/being a disruption. Understandable. I was just talking to a friend about this sort of thing. She said that at her old church there was a small group of girls who correographed a dance to do during worship. I said that at my old church people used to clap and dance down the aisles. And at my high school, my English teacher would waves ribbons in the back of the worship service. All of these things kinda turn me off to worhsip time. It's cool to expressive yourself, but to me it just seems like an emotional high. Maybe it's just my personality tho. But for some reason, I can't stop thinking about how at concerts you just get all amped up and you'll scream, dance, clap and look like a total idiot. Then after you get home you're completely over it. I just have a fear that if I do certain things while worshiping, that it'll be just like a concert-a temporary emotional high that will only damage myself in the long run.

Another day, another thought from Jenny.

Cambodia

2005-06-11T23:12:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it...I leave on a mission's trip to Cambodia in only 2 weeks!!! ay-yi-yi. I'm nervous 'cause the reality is finally sinking in, but I'm also excited 'cause I know this trip is gonna rock. Can't ask for anything better, I get to do work for people who can't do it themselves, get to do a wee bit a traveling, shopping, growing closer to God with friends, and just all sorts of awesome new experiences. This will be my first ever missions trip, so I'm kinda worried I'll be sorta umm like umm well Awkward!

If anyone wants to know about ways to help out with the trip, just post a comment.
I'll post prayer requests on here right before I leave.

THANKS, you guys are awesome.

arrrggg

2005-06-06T23:48:00.000-07:00

So I have been trying with barely any success to figure out how to post pictures on here. I have a pixparty account already. I tried typing in the url and stuff, and it worked for one of the pics, but I can't find the url for the other ones. Even then it still won't directly display on my post!

HELP ANYONE?

Football-o-rama

2005-05-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

So a week ago after Ashlee's birthday lunch, a few of us went over to Howarth Park to play football. Then later we went over to the Montecito park to play again. Yeah, I know!

I think Nick was in the middle of trying to tell me something. *Shrug*

This is nifty! I wanted to get a cool action shot of the football coming straight at the camera. Supposedly someone is supposed to stand right beside you or behind you to catch it. Unfortuately for me, using me for target pratice was more enjoyable. So this is the picture that came about. Ohwell.

Greek translation of loves

2005-05-17T16:14:00.000-07:00

Isn't love the very thing that everyone seeks? Love comes in many forms. The three forms that love translates from the Greek are as follows: Eros, Phileo and Agape.

Eros is: sensual passions; desire
Phileo is: the normal human affection of self gratification
Agape: divine nature which only the child of God has access to in this life; it is from God and God alone; there isn't any agape ever in any unsaved person
"Phileo only loves when loved. Agape can love while being hated." (this all came from http://www.gospelweb.net/love2.htm)

Why then are we not fulfilled? What are we still seeking if we have this agape love in God?
I don't pretend to know these answers, so if anyone reading this to tell me what you think.

I engourage anyone who reads this to be proactive and seek God as often as possible-myseld included. I know that a lot of times I put him on the proverbial side-burner. It's not a conscious thing but it happens. I know that if I don't do something the moment I think of it, it will never happen! Never use the excuse that you're too busy, because if anything else that should be the first thing that you do. I plead guilty.